Q. "Our 19-year-old intern is dating a 17-year-old student. Her parents are ok with it, but should the organization get involved?"
Answer:
While this might not "feel" right, if there isn't any precedent or policy against this type of behavior, we would advise you to stay out of it. This doesn't mean both you and the intern can't learn from it moving forward in two ways:
Acknowledge the Blind Spot: This situation reveals a potential gap in existing policies. Draft a clear policy that outlines your stance on staff, interns, and volunteers in romantic relationships with minors or participants in a ministry they oversee. Once thoroughly edited and approved, add it to your Staff Handbook and Staff Lifestyle Agreement for all future personnel.
Use it as a Teaching Moment: While your primary concern is the safety and perceived boundaries within your student ministry, it's likely that the awkward place this puts your ministry in hasn't even crossed the minds of any parties involved.
If your intern's advisor feels it might be appropriate, this could be a great opportunity to help the intern explore how he might handle a similar situation in a future ministry. Discuss his role and the student's status as a minor participant, framing it around protecting both parties, the integrity of the ministry, and the trust placed in leadership.