Feedback shouldn’t be a mystery.
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Feedback is a hard topic to tackle because it’s so specific. It’s specific to your ministry and its culture and mission. It’s specific to the season you’re in and what goals you are actively working towards as an organization. It’s specific to the department you’re speaking to (for example, a vehicle with a “free candy” sign is appropriate during the Children’s Ministry’s “Trunk or Treat” and pretty much nowhere else). Most importantly, it’s specific to the people in the room and what they’re personally walking through in that season.
There’s no way to make a blanket statement about what will work in every organization, but there are universal truths and best practices that do apply well across the board. In order to best capture the overarching principles and still provide important context, we’d like to introduce you to Rhonda.
Rhonda is one of our HR Advisors and, like every employee in our organization, she has real experience working in a real church. (Actually, a lot of experience.) Rhonda served as an Executive Pastor for 20 years. Her time in the trenches not only deeply engrained best practices for performance reviews that she could use anywhere, but she also picked up habits specific to what her people needed in that season. We’ve asked Rhonda to share with you what she has learned about feedback:
After decades of experience in corporate and church environments, I have noticed a recurring tension: churches often shy away from traditional annual performance reviews because they feel too corporate. Ratings, evaluation forms, and formal meetings can seem disconnected and cold in contrast to the relational nature of ministry.
That hesitation is understandable. Church leaders want staff members to feel valued, supported, and cared for. Yet avoiding a formal review does not remove the need for feedback. Instead, it leaves people wondering where they stand, whether they are meeting expectations, and how to grow.
Make Difficult Conversations More Familiar
Over the years, I found that ongoing conversations fit ministry culture much better than relying on a once-a-year evaluation. They create regular opportunities for encouragement, honest feedback, and pastoral care.
When feedback happens infrequently, a meeting invitation alone can create anxiety. Both leaders and staff members can dread performance conversations, but a consistent rhythm gives people practice discussing concerns, receiving direction, and asking for help. It builds a foundation for the harder conversations that leadership sometimes requires.
Those conversations may still be uncomfortable. But regular contact means they can take place within an established relationship, with shared expectations and a history of care.
Two Conversations, One Consistent Rhythm
In my time as an Executive Pastor, I maintained a rhythm of two meetings per month with each staff member. Both conversations had a distinct purpose, providing two separate blocks of time to address (1) the work of ministry and (2) the well-being of the person doing it.
Meeting One: Taking Care of the Business Side of Leadership
The first meeting each month focused on that staff member’s role, goals, and expectations. We discussed progress, celebrated accomplishments, identified obstacles, and addressed concerns while they were still manageable. Questions included:
What is going well?
How are you progressing toward your goals?
Are expectations clear?
Where are you feeling stuck or overwhelmed?
What support do you need from me?
What needs to improve before we meet again?
These conversations made feedback familiar. I could address concerns close to the moment they occurred, with specific examples and a clear path forward. Staff members had regular opportunities to ask questions, offer their perspective, and make adjustments in real time.
Meeting Two: Remembering the Pastoral Side of Leadership
The second meeting focused more intentionally on that staff member as a person.
Sometimes we discover too late that a staff member has been struggling. By the time exhaustion, family strain, or spiritual discouragement becomes visible in their work, they may have been carrying it quietly for months. We can become so focused on leading the ministry that we miss opportunities to pastor the people doing the ministering.
That second conversation created room to ask:
What is filling you up right now?
How are you doing physically and emotionally?
How is your family?
Tell me about your intentional quiet time. What are you learning, and where are you struggling?
What are you doing to rest and care for yourself?
How can I support you or pray for you?
These questions grew out of relationship, with room for each person to share at their own comfort level. Of course, personal disclosure should never become a measure of job performance or spiritual commitment. The purpose was simply to create a consistent opportunity to be known and cared for. A recurring meeting does not guarantee someone will share every struggle. But it gives those conversations a place to happen before a crisis forces them onto the calendar.
Leading church staff should include this aspect of pastoral responsibility. Alongside helping people fulfill their roles, we need to pay attention to how they are doing along the way.
Galatians 6:2 calls us to carry one another’s burdens, which begins with making room to hear what someone is carrying. These personal conversations offer a practical opportunity to live out that instruction through relational leadership—to listen, pray, and help staff members find the support they need.
Make Accountability Clear
Relational leadership also requires honest conversations about performance. When expectations are unclear or concerns go unaddressed, frustration can grow on both sides. Ephesians 4:15 connects speaking the truth in love with spiritual maturity, providing a meaningful guide for feedback: speak honestly, with care for the person and desire for their growth. Love should shape both what we say and how we say it.
Helpful feedback names what happened, explains its effect, and establishes what should happen next. “You need to communicate better” gives someone little direction, but “When the schedule changes, please notify the volunteers before Friday so they can prepare” provides a clear and measured expectation that a staff member can act on. Encouragement benefits from that same specificity. Naming what someone did well helps them understand the value of their contribution and build on it.
Feedback should also flow both ways. Leaders need to ask, “What could I do differently to help you succeed?” and be willing to listen and respond.
Keep a Record That Supports Follow-Through
Documentation is key, and I saw firsthand how vital it was to keep notes from conversations about roles, goals, and expectations. Documenting accomplishments, feedback, agreed next steps, and promised support gives both the leader and staff member something clear to revisit.
At the next meeting, those notes help us check progress and follow through, including commitments I had made as their leader. Sharing a short recap allowed the staff member to clarify anything that was misunderstood.
Over time, this creates a record of both growth and concerns addressed along the way. The documentation also supports continuity and helps remove the element of surprise. When an annual review or a more difficult conversation becomes necessary, this prevents either person from hearing a longstanding concern for the first time.
Pastoral conversations require greater discretion. Sensitive details about marriage, family, or spiritual struggles generally do not belong in performance notes. Any notes from those conversations should be minimal, handled confidentially, and focused on support or follow-up.
Performance Reviews with a Better Purpose
Hebrews 10:24-25 encourages us to consider how we can spur one another toward love and good works to keep encouraging one another. Although this passage addresses the broader faith community, its emphasis is so intentional, showing how ongoing encouragement is also a critical principle for leading church staff well.
The mystery of feedback begins to disappear when people know when conversations will happen, what is expected of them, and whether they can speak honestly. An annual review still serves a useful role. It provides time to reflect on growth, recognize contributions, revisit responsibilities, and set direction for the coming year. It should summarize conversations that have already happened, allowing staff members to arrive with a mostly clear understanding of their progress and the areas that need attention.
For me, the two intentional conversations I cultivated each month created space to lead the work and care for the person. That rhythm, supported by clear expectations and thoughtful documentation, helped bring encouragement, accountability, and pastoral attention into the everyday life of ministry.
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Rhonda Laguna serves as an HR Advisor with HR Ministry Solutions and brings more than 30 years of human resources experience spanning both corporate and church environments. She is particularly committed to helping churches and ministries balance sound HR practices with grace, compassion, and biblical stewardship, empowering leaders to make informed decisions while caring well for their teams.